Be Gentle be Kind and Love Every Minute of it...

Imagine. You’ve been snuggled safe and warm. Heard a calming, constant heartbeat. Listened to a voice that soothes you. Been rocked and swayed into blissful deep sleep. When suddenly your world starts to crash around you. You’re being forced away from your lovely home. You don’t know where you are. There’s light, it’s loud. There’s no sound of heartbeat, no warmth and you don’t feel safe. You think you are the person you’ve been living in, you have no idea that you are separate being. You panic, you’re scared. You need that person you’ve grown to love, that warmth that glorious, constant sound. You’re a baby and you need your mum.

Being a newborn baby is a stressful, scary time. Love and affection is what babies crave. Holding your baby close, for me, seems only natural. Since day one I’ve followed my gut. Cuddled my daughter close, soothed her, catered her every cry. I’ve poured my energy into love.

Sadly for many mums, information is distorted. We are constantly told numerous pieces of advice. Often all contradictory. We become confused. We crumble to a point of desperation. And often follow methods such as “cry it out” as we fear there is no hope. We want to be perfect mothers and want to raise perfect children. We don’t want to create a “rod for our own back”. And we fear if we are gentle, we are bad parents, that our children won’t learn.

Babies are innocent. All of them. They don’t cry because they are bad. They don’t wake through the night because they are being naughty. They don’t constantly breastfeed to spite you. They need comfort. They need human interaction. Love, affection and cuddles, lots of cuddles.

Relax. Your baby is crying because she needs you. She doesn’t need to be left to cry. She doesn’t remember the last time you came back and she thinks you’ve abandoned her. Despite being told “she’ll learn this way”... she won’t. The more you leave her to cry, the more she will cry. Constantly soothing your baby each time she cries, only creates trust. This way when you put her down, she knows you won’t abandon her. She knows if she needs you, you’ll come.

I was so frequently told how content my newborn was. She hardly cried and when she did she was easily soothed. It’s because I kept her close, I soothed her, fed her, did absolutely anything to comfort her. But I never left her to cry, not once.

Babies need comfort. They need their mums. Hold them close because you are all that they know. Your smell, your voice, your warmth. Please don’t be afraid to cuddle your baby. There’s nothing wrong with love. There’s nothing wrong with kindness. Don’t you dream of raising a gentle, caring and loving child? Then teach them these traits through you. Pour endless love into your actions.

Hold your baby. It’s natural, it’s biologically normal and it’s perfectly okay.

Be gentle, be kind and love every minute of it.